The Twilight Report

Running late today, and this guy was ambling down the escalator on my way to the train, so I shifted into the passing lane and ran for the door, which announced “stand clear, doors closing” just as I jumped through the threshold. Only it was just like that scene in Aliens when Sigourney Weaver and Kyle Reese^[1] jump into the elevator when the xenomorphs^[2] are chasing them and it is all suspenseful, because the train doors stay open just long enough for ambling man to sit his butt in the door and mumbles something vaguely sounding like if this train is going to mumble-muble to a couple of asian girls who clearly have no idea what he is saying.

“In or out, dude.” Someone says in a thick American accent.

Okay, actually it was me. And I feel a little mean for having said it, as I am sympathetic with people who come to a train station they have never been to before and I understand the desire to know where the train you are getting on is going, and furthermore wanting it to coincide somewhat with your own final destination, but I hardly think that entitles you to delay an entire trainload of people, most of whom are already late to work, just because you are too lazy to read the big blue monitors strategically placed around the station.

He hops in and once the train is underway, he asks me “does this train go to Central?”

“Yes, it does.”

When I get to work I hold the elevator for someone who thanks me and we start talking about the weather. It struck me that it was totally the opposite reaction to the situation earlier in the train. It was just when Bill Murray and Egon Spengler are in the elevator with unlicensed nuclear accelerators on their backs. Except for totally unrelated.

1. I know, I know her real name is Ellen Ripley, what do you think I am dumb?
2. xeno-what?