American History According to Becky
Apr. 30th, 2005 10:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ljpliceaseOn the trail yesterday Becky was trying to tell Sock Kihm (who is from Singapore) about American history and she asks me: "Was George Washington the one in the Civil War?"
"No," I says, "he was in the Revolutionary War."
Now just hold that moment for a second, and ask yourself: What is revolutionary about war anyway? Humans have been killing each other since before they were even humans. I know this because I saw 2001.
"How can you know that? You're from Australia." Becky responds.
I say, "I know that because I am from Australia." Because the whole foreigners know more about American history than Americans cliché is too tempting to pass up.
Not that I am really a foreigner anyway. For the rest of the conversation I referred to the Americans as "we", which is pretty new for me. The whole conversation reminded me of the irreverent historical satire Dave Barry Slept Here.
Anyway, this is American history according to Becky:
A Long Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away, the colonists came to America and since they were all convicts they didn't know how to plant corn or shoot turkeys, so the Indians [1] helped them survive through the winter and to celebrate they had Thanksgiving. After the Indians saved the colonists, they killed them all and the ones who did survive they moved them to reservations which is the worst land we have in America, and now when you give them money they just spend it on drugs and alcohol [2]. Then they put a chain in the Hudson River at WestPoint [3] So that when the British came down the Hudson in their ship they would get stuck and we could shoot them like the preverbal fish in a barrel. Also, the British all wore red and marched in rows so they were easy to shoot. Then in 1776 we defeated the British in the Civil War and George Washington freed the slaves.
I explained that 1776 [4] was when we declared our independence and not when we defeated the British, and then I got into a friendly argument with Elaine about that since in India, where Elaine is from, they celebrate when they won the war when they defeated the British. She said that this made sense since we were celebrating a point when we were not independent. I posited that in 1776 we were in fact independent; it just took the British a while to figure it out since we [5] defeated them in the Revolutionary War.
[1] I usually use the term "Native American", but even Elaine was calling them Indians, and she is from India.
[2] Presumably I guess this means that we don't owe them anything for their troubles.
[3] Which was visible from where we sat on Breakneck Ridge.
[4] Actually, Becky didn't even know it was 1776, she was just vaguely aware that there was some important date in American history or something.
[5] Along with the French... which American's always like to forget; probably because the British surrendered to the French, not the Americans at the end of the Revolutionary War.
"No," I says, "he was in the Revolutionary War."
Now just hold that moment for a second, and ask yourself: What is revolutionary about war anyway? Humans have been killing each other since before they were even humans. I know this because I saw 2001.
"How can you know that? You're from Australia." Becky responds.
I say, "I know that because I am from Australia." Because the whole foreigners know more about American history than Americans cliché is too tempting to pass up.
Not that I am really a foreigner anyway. For the rest of the conversation I referred to the Americans as "we", which is pretty new for me. The whole conversation reminded me of the irreverent historical satire Dave Barry Slept Here.
Anyway, this is American history according to Becky:
A Long Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away, the colonists came to America and since they were all convicts they didn't know how to plant corn or shoot turkeys, so the Indians [1] helped them survive through the winter and to celebrate they had Thanksgiving. After the Indians saved the colonists, they killed them all and the ones who did survive they moved them to reservations which is the worst land we have in America, and now when you give them money they just spend it on drugs and alcohol [2]. Then they put a chain in the Hudson River at WestPoint [3] So that when the British came down the Hudson in their ship they would get stuck and we could shoot them like the preverbal fish in a barrel. Also, the British all wore red and marched in rows so they were easy to shoot. Then in 1776 we defeated the British in the Civil War and George Washington freed the slaves.
I explained that 1776 [4] was when we declared our independence and not when we defeated the British, and then I got into a friendly argument with Elaine about that since in India, where Elaine is from, they celebrate when they won the war when they defeated the British. She said that this made sense since we were celebrating a point when we were not independent. I posited that in 1776 we were in fact independent; it just took the British a while to figure it out since we [5] defeated them in the Revolutionary War.
[1] I usually use the term "Native American", but even Elaine was calling them Indians, and she is from India.
[2] Presumably I guess this means that we don't owe them anything for their troubles.
[3] Which was visible from where we sat on Breakneck Ridge.
[4] Actually, Becky didn't even know it was 1776, she was just vaguely aware that there was some important date in American history or something.
[5] Along with the French... which American's always like to forget; probably because the British surrendered to the French, not the Americans at the end of the Revolutionary War.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 10:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 10:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-30 08:06 pm (UTC)1) "Native Americans"
2) People who live in, or were born in the country of India
3) sometimes Native Australians or Aboriginals, and presumably native peoples elsewhere
as Indian (none of whom, incidentally, originally called themselves Indians) waters the language down any less, but you and your instructor are certainly welcome to your opinion.