ljplicease | Cultural Diversity

Apparently, I know that I'm from New Mexico when...

You know whether you want "red or green."
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.
You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.
You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.
A tarantula on your porch is ordinary. A scorpion in your tub is ordinary. A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary. A black widow crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common. A rattlesnake is an occasional hiking hazard. No need to freak out.

...I know that I'm from Australia when...

You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.
The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You realise you have no Bill of Rights.

...I know that I'm from New York when...

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
The subway makes sense.
Your closet is filled with black clothes.
You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.
You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....
You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

...I know I'm from Sydney when...

You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it.
Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he moved to Australia.
A man in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps gets on the bus. You don't notice.

...I know I'm from Utah when...

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.

...I know I'm from Chicago when...

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet! (Answer: 588-2300... EMPIRE!)

...I know I'm from Arizona when...

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
You can pronounce "Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier" and "Canyon de Chelly"
You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!"
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

...Apparently I know that I am from either Arizona OR New Mexico when...

Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
You buy salsa by the gallon.

I honestly only picked out the ones which I personally relate to. Can someone tell me where the heck I belong? Please? One year we put faralitos [1] up on Christmas eve in Gosford, Australia. We didn't manage to start a trend, but we did get some funny looks from passersby. My favorite social activity with my friends (aside from hiking and being outside) is to make Santa Fe style enchiladas for my friends from North Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, the Ukraine, India, Hawaii and Maine. I think I know two people who are actually from New York State.

[1] Lunch sacks with sand and candles. Something they do in New Mexico, and apparently Arizona as well at Christmas. Featured in the fall segment of my real-time multimedia demo Final Intensity.