Ham and Cheese

[ljplicease]

"What will you have, Ham-I mean, Cousin Eddie?"

"What is there?"

"Espresso, mocha, latte, white mocha, hot chocolate, decaf, recaf, nocaf, somecaf, extracaf, Goliachino^TM... what's the matter?"

Hamlet had started to tremble, a look of pain and hopelessness on his face as he stared wild-eyed at the huge choice laid out in front of him.

"To espresso or to latte, that is the question," he muttered, his free will evaporating rapidly. I had asked Hamlet for something he couldn't easily supply: a decision. "Whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain," he continued in a rapid garble, "or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache-"

"Cousin Eddie!" I said sharply. "Cut it out!"

"To froth, to sprinkle, perchance to drink, and in that-"

"He'll have a mocha with extra cream, please."

Hamlet stopped abruptly once the burden of decision was taken from him.

"Sorry," he said, rubbing his temples, "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything. Is that normal?"

Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

The measure of inertia at The Company is high. To make things worse, I tend to be distracted quite easily. For example, right now I should be working on Feature Number 123879 now that I have dispatched Defect Number 123940. Instead I am sitting here typing in the passage from the latest Thursday Next novel which got me to start reading the books in the first place.