iPod Adventures
May. 10th, 2005 12:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ljpliceaseThe audio in the left ear would cut out fairly regularly. At first I could jostle the connection a little bit, or blast the volume briefly and it would come back, but it got worse and worse until I decided that I would have to send it back to Apple for repairs or replacement. So I went to the website and filled out their little form and the next day I had a box on my doorstep which I knew I was supposed to use to send it back to them.
The box was sealed with green striped tape with the words
"DO NOT BREAK SEAL UNLESS USING PARTS". What does that mean? Am I using the iPod, or the box? What is the part? If they meant don't break the seal unless you are sending the iPod I would have thought they might use a more conventional verb for the task, such as to ship or to send or something like that. So I did what every red blooded American would do.
I let the box sit on my table for two days, vaguely afraid of opening it.
On the outside of the box was a price estimate for the repair,
which had every possible permutation of
Then I said to myself: "This is silly. If they had meant for me not to break the seal, then why would they have sent it to me?"
Inside I found instructions, three pieces of foam, a plastic bag and some tape. The foam was supposed to be layered, and the middle bit was cut out to exactly fit the iPod. The plastic bag was also exactly the right size for the iPod, and it seemed obvious that it was supposed to go in there, BUT I was very concerned that the plastic bag wasn't mentioned ANYWHERE in the instructions. This made me nervous. "Why?" I can hear you asking "It's not like they were going to charge you for not following directions." To answer that, I would like to tell you this parable of software engineering.
A man gets a bill in the mail for $0. The zero owed remaining on a purchase or service that he had already paid off in full. Considering it to be an inconsequential glitch in the companies billing software he discards it without a second thought. two weeks later he gets another bill in the mail demanding payment of $0 immediately. This time he is a little weirded out, but he tosses the bill again, thinking that it isn't his problem. Two weeks after that, he gets a third, more threatening bill in the mail: "if you do not pay the sum of $0 immediately we will send a collection agency after you." Now the man is a little more worried about the situation and talks about it with his best friend. The best friend suggests mailing in a check for $0. This plan has an air of plausible completion, so that is what he does and he doesn't get any more threatening bills from the company. A month later, however, he gets a call from the head of IT at the company and he says "yeah, sending that check for $0 solved the problem for you, but do you know the chaos that caused our system?"
The lesson I have learned from working with software engineers is that they make mistakes. Sure the repair estimate says $0, but how do I know that isn't just a big in the software that printed the estimate?
So once again, box and iPod sat on my table for a couple of days, while I meekly played with my new G5s, which appears to be totally functional, thank goodness. I couldn't hide forever though, and so I finally decided to boldly put the iPod in the plastic bag and to hell with the risks. I shook my hand defiantly at Apple and said "Go ahead. Charge me $0. See if I care!"1
The box was sealed with green striped tape with the words
 |
I let the box sit on my table for two days, vaguely afraid of opening it.
On the outside of the box was a price estimate for the repair,
 |
| If Apple confirms that service (is|is not) covered (and you|but you fail to) follow instructions the estimated cost of parts and labor is $0. |
Then I said to myself: "This is silly. If they had meant for me not to break the seal, then why would they have sent it to me?"
Inside I found instructions, three pieces of foam, a plastic bag and some tape. The foam was supposed to be layered, and the middle bit was cut out to exactly fit the iPod. The plastic bag was also exactly the right size for the iPod, and it seemed obvious that it was supposed to go in there, BUT I was very concerned that the plastic bag wasn't mentioned ANYWHERE in the instructions. This made me nervous. "Why?" I can hear you asking "It's not like they were going to charge you for not following directions." To answer that, I would like to tell you this parable of software engineering.
A man gets a bill in the mail for $0. The zero owed remaining on a purchase or service that he had already paid off in full. Considering it to be an inconsequential glitch in the companies billing software he discards it without a second thought. two weeks later he gets another bill in the mail demanding payment of $0 immediately. This time he is a little weirded out, but he tosses the bill again, thinking that it isn't his problem. Two weeks after that, he gets a third, more threatening bill in the mail: "if you do not pay the sum of $0 immediately we will send a collection agency after you." Now the man is a little more worried about the situation and talks about it with his best friend. The best friend suggests mailing in a check for $0. This plan has an air of plausible completion, so that is what he does and he doesn't get any more threatening bills from the company. A month later, however, he gets a call from the head of IT at the company and he says "yeah, sending that check for $0 solved the problem for you, but do you know the chaos that caused our system?"
The lesson I have learned from working with software engineers is that they make mistakes. Sure the repair estimate says $0, but how do I know that isn't just a big in the software that printed the estimate?
So once again, box and iPod sat on my table for a couple of days, while I meekly played with my new G5s, which appears to be totally functional, thank goodness. I couldn't hide forever though, and so I finally decided to boldly put the iPod in the plastic bag and to hell with the risks. I shook my hand defiantly at Apple and said "Go ahead. Charge me $0. See if I care!"1
